A Sports Widow Halloween
October 31, 2008 10:06 AM | 0 Comments
I've got to be honest. Halloween is not one of my favorite holidays and I rarely dress up for it. I just walk around the neighborhood with the kids looking like a disengaged bodyguard. But I always experience last-minute pressure to dress up, because in my heart of hearts, I'm fun-loving. I haven't completely lost touch with the child within. This is when I try to figure out a new twist on the three Cheeseheads I own.
Mind you, these are not just ANY Cheeseheads. These have been signed by none other than Ralph Bruno, founder of Foamation, Inc., which is based in my hometown of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. This year, I fleetingly thought about recruiting a few other people to join me so we could form a cheese platter. I thought we could glue sticks with colored cellophane to the top to look like party toothpicks. Then I considered going as moldy cheese. All it would take is a little light green gauze over the top. But this was all too complicated.
Instead, I decided to push the easy button, to go as the Vampire’s Bride because our costume box had all of the necessary accoutrements and we still had some old make-up from last year. I wore this crazy, long Medusa-like wig, which my friend who was dressed as Mae West, sprayed with silver streaks. I then applied pale white make-up to my face, garish black eyeliner and browliner and blood-red lipstick. I wore a Morticia dress with sequence, black tights and a cape, and I was good to go in 15 minutes flat. One of my credentials as a Sports Widow is that I am incredibly klutzy and random problems occur because of this. This time the wig was the culprit. I hadn’t anchored it with bobbypins, so it was sliding around all night like continental drift. At one point, I walked under a low hanging branch and my wig got entangled. Anyway, it was gratifying wearing the costume and seeing the look on people’s faces when they realized my true identity.
From a Sports Widow perspective, the best costume I heard about was a teenager who wore Seattle sports paraphernalia from the Seattle Seahawks, now-defunct Seattle Sonics and Seattle Mariners teams and draped it with a ghostly gauze. He was The Ghost of Seattle Sports.Yes, Seattle is probably ranked The Most Livable City for Sports Widows. Another creative one was Dick Cheney, which was for mature audiences only. Let's just say there were chains around it.
Did you dress up for Halloween? For future reference, if you have any ideas about how to incorporate three Cheeseheads into a Halloween costume, I’ll be your friend 4-EVER.
The Sports Widow
(aka Nan Hall)
Tell me what you think of A Sports Widow Halloween...
From the Sports-Klutz Archives
The Sports Widow Spreads "Christmas Cheer"
December 7, 2007 9:54 PM | 0 Comments
One of our annual Christmas traditions is to take a ferry out to Vashon Island, WA, and go to a U-Cut-Your-Own Christmas Tree farm called "Augie's".
We've been doing this for 15+ years. Our traveling companions are my mother-in-law, sister-in-law, her husband and my niece and nephew.We bring homemade muffins on the ferry and thermoses of hot chocolate to warm us while we tromp around the farm looking for the perfect Christmas tree (we also get greens and a wreath in the package).
One year we returned with the sorriest, most pathetic, scraggly looking tree you've ever seen in your life but, if you're into stats, our average is pretty good and we haven't repeated this (good thing, because it was so forlorn, it bummed me out every time I looked at it).
Sports Widow Plays Shake n' Bake Street Basketball
April 9, 2007 11:30 PM | 0 Comments
We have just made our annual Spring Break pilgrimage to Wapato Point, which is a small community in Lake Chelan, Washington. This is our seventh year of traveling to Wapato Point, and it's a recreational haven for us. We play basketball, tennis, Putt Putt golf, swim in an indoor pool and generally commune together. Tonight I was conscripted into playing basketball with Austin on what has to be one of the prettiest outdoor courts ever, and it's in clear view of the condo we are staying in and there is a view of the mountains behind the court.
The Bike Lesson
January 27, 2007 11:03 PM | 0 Comments
Growing up in Milwaukee, Wisconsin in the 1960s, I was oblivious to sports. This is incomprehensible to most men I know, who can’t believe I wasn’t avidly tracking the tragic exit of the Milwaukee Braves or the promising debut of the Milwaukee Bucks or the incredible feats of the Green Bay Packers. In fact, the Pack is the source of a recurring nightmare I have had throughout my life.
Another Snow Day in West Seattle; Another Sledding Calamity
January 16, 2007 12:24 PM | 0 Comments
For what feels like the millionth time this Fall/Winter, my kids were out of school because of a Snow Day. I have greeted these Snow Days with a gamut of attitudes, ranging from "a gift from God" to "an utterly, totally exasperating inconvenience." Today, my perspective was one of "complete surrender." After all, what can I do about it? Furthermore, let's get real about the work guilt: Are MY sage thoughts about marketing REALLY going to be missed at the 4-hour-long charette about health care? Hardly. So, I fixed a hearty farm breakfast of scrambled eggs, cute little breakfast sausages and toasted blueberry muffins for my energetic crew: Kit, 12; Austin, 9; and Caroline, 7. High on cholesterol? Perhaps...
Moon Over West Seattle: My Left Cheek
September 25, 2006 11:13 AM | 0 Comments
This is a story of excruciating pain. PG. Parental Guidance Recommended. This is the Sports Widow's painful, private story of a bruised buttock told in hindsight, several days after the event.
The Sports Widow's "Glory Days" as a High School Tennis Player
September 11, 2006 6:11 AM | 0 Comments
We just visited my hometown of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Specifically, I grew up in Shorewood, which is the first suburb as you travel up the North Shore of Milwaukee. I have no trophies. I have no letter jackets. I have no claims to fame athletically, but for the sake of my children, I cling to one small triumph: I played on the Shorewood High School Girls' Tennis Team. Yes, I played.
Sports Widow Warning: Beware of the Second Bounce in Superball
September 4, 2006 6:15 AM | 0 Comments
Every year, I return to my hometown of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, over Labor Day Weekend, which coincides with my mother's birthday on September 4th. Motherhood, beer, brats, cheese, and a bunch of super-sized Bavarians, all against the backdrop of Lake Michigan, which frankly dwarfs Puget Sound in grandeur: What more could one ask for?
Sports Widow End-of-Little-League-Baseball-Season Highlights
June 20, 2006 6:29 AM | 0 Comments
Unfortunately, my schedule has been so crazy. Here's a roundup of what's been going on in reverse order:
The Sports Widow is on the Injured List... Again
April 17, 2006 7:07 AM | 0 Comments
A Baseball Collides With My Left Eye
Last week, my family enjoyed Spring Break at a lovely place called Wapato Point on Lake Chelan in Washington State. We've been going to this destination for the past five years. It's a particularly great spot for elementary-age children. We have three: Kit, short for Katharine (11), Austin (8) and Caroline (6). Most of the vacation we cater to the whims of this young trio: We swim in a heavily chlorinated pool, chase tennis balls and occasionally make contact with them using a racket, and explore this spectacular region, which was sculpted by glaciers. Last Tuesday, however, we decided to visit Big Pine Winery, one of the local wineries that are cropping up in the area. In order to placate mostly Austin and his unquenchable desire to be active, we gathered up the baseball bat, mitts and ball so that he and his cronies could play in a field on the vineyard while we adults relaxed and sampled wine.
How I Became a Sports Widow
March 2, 2006 7:11 AM | 0 Comments
The only math formula I ever memorized was: Tragedy+Time=Comedy. When I apply this to my relationship with sports, believe me, comedy is the operative word.
