Sports Widow

The Sports Widow's Survival Guide to Thanksgiving

November 18, 2007 5:25 PM | 1 Comments

When we're all sitting around a festive, autumnal table celebrating Thanksgiving, that uniquely American holiday, we'll gratefully pass around the standard-issue turkey, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie ("Light on the whipped cream, please, I'm watching my weight."). But, hey, isn't there always one more staple on the menu that can leave you with heartburn? Yes, there is: Sports, and lots of it. Somehow I don't think this is the outcome the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag anticipated when they had their first potluck in the 1600s.

When it comes to sports, I'm the one who has spent years relegated to the fold-out card table, marginalized from the big people, the ones who are in the know. I am among the unwashed. Most of the time I don't care, but Thanksgiving has a tendency to turn the spotlight on this disenfranchisement and the resentment that accompanies it.

Put simply, Thanksgiving is a 4-day, gluttonous marathon that combines cleaning/cooking/entertaining, round-the-clock childcare, dysfunctional family reunions and non-stop sports. "Could you pass the remote, please? I'd like another serving of football and basketball, please. Oh, and could you throw in the Macy's parade with cheesey commentary and absurdly large, Staypuft Marshmallow-like characters?"

Got Game? Most Thanksgivings Do, So You Need a Strategy
Martha Stewart and Rachael Ray may give you hints about perparing food for Thanksgiving, but before you start laying out the cheerful turkey cocktail napkins, the cornucopia centerpiece and how-to books about the authentic way to make Pilgrim hats, you've got to bag your game strategy. Otherwise, your Thanksgiving tableau could wind up consisting of a bunch of turkeys, mostly guys, languishing in La-Z-Boy recliners and succombing to a tryptophan torpor.

Remember, You're Not Alone
The Pilgrims had the Wampanoags. You have teammates. Because the nature of being a Sports Widow is so personalized to our Sports Fans and their interests, levels of interest, attitudes, and our own personal sports histories, it's easy to feel isolated. Take heart: Did you know there are at least 40 million of us in this country alone????

Establish the Rules of the Game
Before Thursday is in your headlights, a road-kill-waiting-to-happen, determine your sports viewing tolerance level. Review the TV schedule with your Sports Fan/s and identify the most important games. (This can't be too prescriptive, otherwise you'll create more sources of tension.) He/she may resent this, but it's critical if you don't want TV sports to permeate your Thanksgiving like gravy on a flattened mound of mashed potatoes.

Employ a Policy of Containment
Dang these open floor plans. In the houses with a Great Room it's nearly impossible to escape the drone of TV sports. If this is your situation, consider temporarily moving your TV to another location. Or, make a pact that TV viewing will mostly occur in a secondary location so it doesn't compete with social activities. Now is the time to invest in three items: a TV-B-Gone, which can turn off any TV anywhere anytime; ear plugs; and, if there is a TV in your bedroom, a black-out sleep mask.

Your Thanksgiving Goals Checklist (Try to incorporate one of each)
The Relish (Cranberry that is)
Activities you and the whole family can do together.
I love movies and have had a Movie Club for over 15 years now. AMC is hosting a Hitchcock Fest on Thanksgiving. Another option is to choose a sports-related movie suitable for the whole family. Alternatively, gather your family for a walk. I used to work at our local Woodland Park Zoo and many families have a tradition of walking its grounds during the holidays.

The Gravy
Make one concession to your Sports Fan
This is really tough, but try asking your Sports Fan to recommend an exciting game to watch. You don't have to sit through the whole thing. Just make a point of watching a little and asking a few questions about the game, the players or the rivalry, if there is one. On the more active side, challenge your group to a game of Flag Football, but go easy on the aging Weekend Warriors and their brittle bones.

The Dollop of Whipped Cream on the Pumpkin Pie
Schedule time alone or with friends.
I personally like to go to Starbuck's for a Grande Soy Chai. We have a lovely one located in Seattle on Alki Beach on Eliott Bay. Afterwards, I can go on a Walk & Talk with a friend along the water. You may also want to consider forming your own Sports Widow meet-up group.

Stay tuned for more postings during the Thanksgiving Holiday. Let me know how you're doing, what you're doing, and your own survival tips.

Life is a Contact Sport. Seize the Remote. Reclaim the Recliner. Get in the Game. Get Out of the Game...

The Sports Widow
(aka Nan Hall)