Sports Widow Journal
A Sports Fan's Guide to Scheduling Surgery
November 14, 2008 11:39 AM | 0 Comments
My sports fan husband Bryan has to have hip replacement surgery. Even though he’s relatively young, he suffers from early arthritis. We’ve been trying to figure out the best time to schedule the surgery, because he has a pretty intense job as a Project Manager. I suggested the month of December. My rationale is that things pretty much come to a halt for about three weeks of that time anyway, and his estimated recovery is about a month. Additionally, since he never helps with Christmas shopping, being on the injured list won’t impact the holidays that much.
This caused great lamentation, not because of the holiday accusation, but because Bryan prefers Spring for convalescence, specifically the month of March. Here’s an insight into fanthropology – the endlessly fascinating study of fankind.
Here are some stats. In the nearly 20 years since I’ve been married to Bryan he’s had three surgeries: two knee surgeries and one of a highly personal nature related to birth control – yes, the Big V. In each case, unbeknownst to me, Bryan scheduled the surgeries during March so he would have an ironclad excuse to laze around, I mean convalesce, watching college basketball games. As his nurse, I’d set him up with snacks, beer and a bag of peas in the freezer for icing. If you haven’t discovered the glories of frozen peas in the household medical kit, start now. What’s beautiful about peas is that they will sculpt to whatever part of the body needs to be iced.
One day, when my Louisiana mother-in-law was visiting us, we got home from work and she had surprised us with dinner. One of the items on the menu was peas. Once I realized that these were medicinal peas, I politely told her I’d have to pass on the peas.
Lesson learned: label the peas clearly in your freezer if they are not meant for consumption.
Bryan is consoling himself with the fact that there are a lot of Bowl games during this December timeframe, so life is not all bad for the sports fan.
The Sports Widow
(aka Nan Hall)
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From the Archives
Political Football: How Can Sports Widow's Play It?
November 7, 2008 4:55 PM | 0 Comments
All week we've been hearing about politics. I'll tell you what's political in a male-female relationship, or a sports fan-sports widow relationship: Time. I'll tell you about a turf war: Football. In the days of yore, there were only three stations and Monday Night Football, but now football oozes into every crevice of our lives. The Safeway cashier talks about how the game is keeping shoppers at home, the pastor references the game in his sermon, the flat screen TV in your local restaurant intrudes on your night out, the sports commentator on the radio blasts while your fan searches for a parking space, and worst of all Saturdays and Sundays are dominated by college and professional football.
At the crux of it, it's all about time: me time, we time as a couple, we time as a family AND, of course, equity. There really is no equivalent to sports fanatacism in most women's lives. We laughlingly say shopping is an antidote, but the fact is that two things curtail our shopping - time and, sadly, budget! My husband easily spends about 10-15 hours a week on sports, but the times where the parity rubs me wrong are the long 2 to 3-hour stretches. When you have young children, someone has to shepherd them. This is time I want back.
The Sports Widow's 13 Horrifying Habits of Sports Fans
October 31, 2008 4:39 PM | 0 Comments
For The Sports Widow, Halloween would be incomplete if I didn't prepare a ghoulish, hair-raising, spine-tingling list of the 13 Horrifying Habits of Sports Fans. So, here it is, Mwah ha ha ha ha ha....
A Sports Widow Halloween
October 31, 2008 10:06 AM | 0 Comments
I've got to be honest. Halloween is not one of my favorite holidays and I rarely dress up for it. I just walk around the neighborhood with the kids looking like a disengaged bodyguard. But I always experience last-minute pressure to dress up, because in my heart of hearts, I'm fun-loving. I haven't completely lost touch with the child within. This is when I try to figure out a new twist on the three Cheeseheads I own.
