Bowling Widow

A Sports Widow Movie Moment: Five Easy Pieces

September 18, 2006 6:05 AM | 0 Comments

My spry, generous, 76-year-old mother-in-law, Dorothy, spontaneously offered to take the kids - ages 12, 8 and 6 - to her nearby retirement home for a concert on a weeknight. Quick as a whip, Bryan and I agreed that this would be a FANTASTIC idea, and we gave everyone the bum's rush out of the house. Who cares if the children were about to be stupefied by favorite Sousa tunes or a setptuagenerian, medieval harpist or a Lawrence-Welk-like accordionist? It would widen their musical horizons.

The point was that two hours, 120 minutes, on a weeknight gleamed before us. I know most of you probably have romantic minds and believe we raced for a romp in the sack, but we opted for a good movie. We love movies, and parenthood has not nurtured this passion. My only consolation is a 15-year, bi-monthly membership to a Movie Club, which we call "The Lazy Woman's Book Club."

Bryan and I have a short-term deal with Comcast, which enables us to select from Free Movies, so we chose the film "Five Easy Pieces." Admittedly, for an impromptu date night, the movie is kind of a bummer. No sooner had we poured a couple of glasses of wine and selected the movie, when there was a tap on the door.

A 60-something next-door-neighbor, who was house-sitting for her daughter and son-in-law, was in distress. She had locked herself out of the house and wondered if we could help her break in. At the point where we had propped a ladder against the kitchen window, the stark dissimilarity between Bryan's and my natures revealed themselves. I am at the gullible pole and Bryan is at the suspicious pole. As I tried to pry the kitchen screen open with a bottle-opener, while their cat was meowing from an inside countertop, Bryan whispered, "I am NOT going to help some woman we don't know break into a house. She could be a thief. We could be aiding and abetting a criminal." To which I responded, "Do criminals look like a brunette Doris Day, wear embroidered sweaters and try to break in at 7:30pm during broad daylight?" He sputtered, "You'd be surprised!"

Once our efforts to breach the house proved fruitless, the suspect, Marlene, said she'd have to wait for a key from either her husband, who was coming from the airport, or her daughter, who lived about 20 minutes away. We invited Marlene in, and, still hell-bent on watching our movie, held her hostage to viewing "Five Easy Pieces" from the comfort of our blue-striped couch.

I discovered that, if you are aware, there are Sports Widow moments in many movies. For instance, in "Five Easy Pieces," look for the scene with Jack Nicholson as Robert Dupea and Karen Black as Rayette Dipesto at the bowling alley. Karen clearly needs bumpers, and Jack exhibits disdain for her bowling inadequacies, made worse by the fact that he is hitting on other female bowlers, including Sally Struthers.

Oh, and back to Marlene. Her husband arrived with the key. I was vindicated for believing in her. And, we got to watch the entire movie before the kids were returned.

To find out more about "Five Easy Pieces," go to imdb.com.